Locked out of heaven companion piece
by Lemin V. Thawens
Summary: This is a companion to my original story Locked out of heaven. This is from Rin's perspective. i do not own the Characters of Inuyasha


Though he didn't remember I and Sesshomaru had met way before his and Koga graduation party. I was young then heck I was only 9 and he was 11. But at that age Sesshomaru never paid much attention to anyone but himself. It may sound silly to a lot of you but that faraway look he almost always had in his eyes had drawn me to him.

I had just lost my parents and my remaining family couldn't get their heads out their asses long enough to think about how a nine year old would feel after watching her parents murdered right in front of her. I remember hearing them talk about me as if I wasn't even in the room. I spent 8 months being shuffled from one home to another. When finally the will my parents left turned up. By turn up I mean Sesshomaru father InuTashio had it. In the will it declared him my legal guardian in the event that my parents pasted.

While dealing with my own issues all I could do was watch him. I watched as he became friends with Koga. I watched as that annoying girl Kagura began to follow him. I watched as that faraway look he had begun to show less and less in his eyes.

I lived under the same roof as him until I was in my last year of Junior high school. That was when I got tired of watching him. That was when I got tired of Kagura bulling me when no one was around. So I asked his father to allow me to take some of my inheritance from my parents and rent an apartment.

He was a second year when I left. I had thought it would be best to distance myself from him. If he was all I thought about I was sure then that I would just be broken hearted. That was a life I didn't want.

I remember the graduation party that was for him, Koga and Miroku perfectly to this day. Kagome and Inuyasha had to beg me to come. I wanted nothing to do with him. Heck I had even went so far as to make sure I got into a different high school as him. I remember I was talking to Kagome. (She was complaining to me about some female at her school that had the hots for Inuyasha). When I just felt like someone was staring at me. I was surprised to see it was him. I tried to hide it in my eyes but by the look in his I could tell that he could see the pain I felt seeing him with Kagura. And the love I still felt for him. However in his eyes there was an array of emotions some that went by so fast I couldn't figure out what they meant.

I had hoped he would talk to me. He didn't but Kagura made sure that after the party she put me in my place. A part of me wanted to hate Sesshomaru he had to know what type of person Kagura was. Funny enough it was then on the ground still from Kagura hitting me lip busted that I was once again telling myself that he was no go. Telling myself that I needed to give up on him.

And I had thought I did. After he went away to college I transferred to his school so I could be back with my friends again. I even dated a few guys. Sango's brother had been the first to ask me out. Though I knew he had only done so at the request of his sister. Just like me she thought that if I found someone else that over time my feelings for him would fade.

Eventually I started dating a college student that was going to a community college so that when he got into the four year university he wouldn't need to take his core classes there.

I thought things where great. I had stopped thinking about Sesshomaru. He was now at the back of my mind. That was until I had saw him again. This time it was my graduation. Well it wasn't just my graduation Sango, Ayame, Kagome, Inuyasha and me. Miroku however had graduated with Koga, Sesshomaru and Kagura.

We saw each other as soon as he walked into Koga's house with Kagura. I looked at Kagura first she had that cocky look on her face. Like she had the best man in the room. But we all knew what Sesshomaru saw her as. I don't know if she just didn't care or if she just didn't know. Heck maybe she was in denial. When my eyes gravitated to his the look in them took my breath away. It was like he was being broken down. I know because I've had that same look in my eye. As quickly as I saw it was gone. He had looked quickly toward the guy I was dating then back to me. I was sure it had to be jealously that I saw. I had stopped myself right then and ripped my eyes away from him. However it was two late my date was looking down at me strange while I tried to laugh it off.

Thanks to Sesshomaru a relationship I had been working on for over a year was over. You know what they that guy said to me when we broke up. "I can't have a girlfriend that's in love with another man." I tried to explain that nothing was going on between me and Sesshomaru but he replied "if you're not in love with him prove it to me and make love to me." I just couldn't do that

It was then that I had given up. I had given up on the thought of every being able to get rid of this feeling I had for him. I had given up the thought of ever being able to love someone at least close to what I felt for him.

Our fucked up relationship was so simple. There wasn't much depth to it. I watched him until I got tired of it. Then suddenly I was the one being watched. If you ask me why I decided to go to the same university as him for me it was as simple as they were one of the top schools in Japan. But really the truth with my grades I could have gotten into any school. Maybe I held hope that he would finally talk to me. That he would finally get rid of Kagura I don't know.

When I finally started college none of the gang was really together anymore. Miroku and Kagome had gone off into different programs for the spiritually gifted. Sango stayed with Miroku but she went off to join an academy that specialized in dealing with demons that broke the demon human treaty. Inuyasha like Sesshomaru was expected from their family to take over parts of their multibillion empire. So he went off to a university specializing in managing big corporations. Ayame had went to a school for pre-med. I was in school with Sesshomaru however we were in different departments. He was in the Business department whereas I was in the science department specializing in Microbiology.

During that time with the gang spread all over Japan I didn't have the time to even think about Sesshomaru much less love. However for such a big campus I saw him what seemed to me like all the time.

3 years at the same school as him and not once did he try to talk to me. I had gotten so tired of seeing him I decided that I was better off just leaving Jjapan all together.

There was an exchange program at the school that I had signed up for. I think at that time he had been working on his MBA when we had finally talked to each other. I had just gotten my acceptance letter into Harvard's exchange program a few weeks prior.

I remember that day like it was yesterday. My car had overheated the day before so I had to take the bus to and from school. I had just finished my last class and the bus was late. I remember feeling like I was being cooked alive it was so hot that day. When his car stopped at the red light I hadn't noticed. I was too busy thinking about still needing to find an apartment once I got to Boston. After all I still hadn't even reserved a hotel I could stay in until I found somewhere to live. Anyways needless to say I was not prepared when he got out of his car and asked if I needed a ride. I was a mess on that bus stop and for the life of me couldn't figure out why he wanted to talk to me now. My face red from the heat. Sweaty my hair up in a sloppy bun to keep it off my neck.

As he drove me to my apartment the car ride had been mostly quiet. He had asked me about my major. I had told him a couple of stupid jokes that only someone in micro biology would get. He chuckled a little I'm sure I blushed but seeing as my face was already red it most likely went unnoticed. And when the ride was quite quiet it wasn't awkward. It was peaceful as if we had been together our whole life. The thought of my unrequited love was as if it never had happened as we drove to my apartment.

When we got to my apartment I don't know why I asked if he wanted to come in. I just know that I wanted something. Maybe I just didn't want our time together to be over yet. That was only part of the reason. Truthful if I was never going to see him again I wanted to at least have my first time with him.

We had sat together on my couch the TV was off as we talked to each other. However we never talked about the past. I never asked him about Kagura and why I hadn't seen her with him in a while and he never asked me about my ex. Again I was fine with that. As the sun started to set and we had a couple of glasses of wine in our system we went from the Living room to my bedroom.

After it was over and the both of us laid together in silence he had gotten up to get dresseded.. As And I was laylaiding there and wondereding if I had made the right choice by having sex with him. As he was putting his shoes on to leave that was when I told him that I wouldn't was moving to America. He stopped and turned to me with a mixture of shock and hurt in his eyes. Before he went back to putting his shoes on.

I had finally gotten what I had wanted from him. Well I wouldn't actually have called us boyfriend and girlfriend at that time. It was more like we were finally talking to each other. Those two days before my flight. wWhere at that time the best time of my life. We had spent those two days withe no one else but each other. I couldn't have asked for more.

As I had boarded my flight I had only felt one thing; I regretted having slept with him. I knew it was going to be hard to leave but watching him as I boarded my plan was far more painful than the years I went loving him from afar.

It didn't take long for me to get settled In I choose not to live on campus again. I had found a beautiful apartment that was within walking distance to the school. So during fall and the beginning of winter I had walked to school. I and Sesshomaru had also keep in contact with each other. However I had not fooled myself into believing we could have a relationship so far away from each other.

But I was content. I knew he felt something for me. I didn't know what and I didn't want to push it to find out what it was.

I remember when winter break was approaching. Sesshomaru had talked his father into letting him and his brother use their private jet so the whole gang could spend their winter break in Cambridge with me. The gang would get here in the middle of December and we would stay until Christmas. Then we would all leave and spend the rest of our vacation in the Bahamas.

I remember it was the last week of fall semester. I was studying for finals. When I heard a knock on my door. Not thinking nothing of it I had just assumed it was another schoolmate looking to buy one of my study guides. My hair was in a ponytail this time it was a bit neater then when he picked me up at the bus stop all those months ago.

When I opened my door I didn't even see the ring at first I was just shocked that he was here. It wasn't until I looked at the ring that I realized what was happening. I remember the tears. I hadn't even registered that he had just told me he loved me for the first time or that he had just asked me to marry him. All I could do was stand there in shock with tears coming down my face.

Sesshomaru stayed with me the whole time. And a week after finals where over and school was in break the rest of the gang came. Along with me telling them about me and Sesshomaru engagement I found out that Miroku and Sango, Ayame and Koga had also gotten engaged. Kagome was pregnant. We were all taking the next steps into our lives.

It's been ten years since that day. And in those ten years a lot hads happened. After Sesshomaruhe finished his MBA at Harvard. He went on to run an American branch of his family company. I received my PHD in Micro Biology. We ended up having 4 kids. Somehow our oldest ended up coming out with no traces of havinge a human for a mother. Sesshomaru is now President of his families American Branches. I am head researcher for a top security research institute.

We aren't the only ones Kagome and Inuyasha ended up getting married shortly after Kagome gave birth. They went on to have 2 more kids. Kagome now works for the same academy for the spiritually gifted that she went to after high school.

Koga and Ayame ended up having one child. Ayame is a Pediatrician. Koga became a lawyer one of his biggest clients being Sesshomaru and Inuyasha family company.

Sango is still working for the international department of human demon relations that specializes in the apprehension of demons who break the human demon treaty. Miroku also works with her using his spiritual powers to assist. They were going all around the world since they were one of the best teams the department. However about a year ago they decided to settle down back in Japan. Sango is currently pregnant with twins.

I'm not going to sit here and say that since then everything has been great between us. It hasn't hell I have been kidnapped and a long list of other fucked up shit. Hel I've even died once. However I had tried to give up on him multiple times before. And I will never do that again. After all since I was 9 years old I haven't been able to take my eyes off of him.


End file.
